My girlfriend and I saw Man of Steel last night. Some of you who listen to the podcast or know me in person know my girlfriend has a name and that name is Neena. For those of you just clicking over to this page because you saw the notice posted on Facebook or if you just landed on this blog via the randomness of the Internet, her name is still Neena. So we can all agree that her name is Neena, okay?
Good; moving on, before going to the movie Neena and I went out to eat. I had shrimp and a couple of drinks. For those of you who know and understand me, you know I like to deaden my emotions with a good drink. For those of you who don’t know and understand me, don’t panic about my enjoyment of a good drink. Or do panic. I don’t really care as long as you keep reading.
As for the movie following dinner, both Neena and I were amped for Man of Steel. Who doesn’t love a good superhero tale and even more tantalizingly, who doesn’t love a good superhero cinema reboot? Huh? Man of Steel is yet another Superman reboot following the previous Superman movie in 2006 (which was a reboot of the Christopher Reeve Superman movies from the 1970s and 80s. The Reeve Superman was a reboot of the 1940s Kirk Alyn Superman, which in turn was a reboot of the real Superman – Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. (I think that’s how it goes. I’m not a Superman historian so I could be wrong.)
Anywho, I distinctly remember two things about that last reboot, Superman Returns:
In the days prior to its release I kept thinking, “I’m pretty excited for the Superman reboot!” and,
As I walked out of the theater having just watched the dismal Superman Returns I thought, “In a few years I’ll be pretty excited for the next Superman reboot!”
And well, a few years turned into 7 years and the Superman reboot I dreamed of after that last Superman reboot has finally arrived! This time it’s called Man of Steel (that title is way cooler than the last one. So far, so good for Man of Steel!) and with its return, so, too, did my excitement return! I was so pumped walking into the movie theater last night that I had nearly completely forgotten the parachute-less dead-fall jump my emotions took during the two-and-one-half-hour duration of Superman Returns, from pre-movie excitement to post-movie ennui!
I asked myself while watching the pre-movie preview commercials (i.e., the commercials the theater plays before the movie previews), “Hollywood can’t screw me twice, can they?” And I answered, “No way, broseph! Hollywood is a trusted conglomeration of the best corporations who produce cinematic art and entertainment! When has Hollywood done me wrong?”
“Who are you talking to?” asked a mysterious voice from inside the movie theater.
“Who said that?” I asked, turning in my seat toward the mysterious voice.
It was Neena. “Oh,” I answered. Apparently I was talking aloud. As an aside, Neena’s voice is not mysterious. Her voice is the perfect pitch and tone and angelic and totally recognizable. Totally. Really, it is. Always. Except for this one time. I’m serious.
Luckily, Neena accepted my gracious apology and went back to her very important Instagramming work she was doing on her smart phone, allowing me to return to my monologue. I continued, this time using my ‘For Cody Only Voice,’ thinking when the last reboot was released in 2006 I was sooo young (in fact, I was 26 years young!) and impressionable (in fact, I was still clinging to my hopes and dreams!)! Now, in 2013, I’m an emotionally hardened (in fact, I’ve developed a drinking problem – for an example, see the second paragraph of this post!) man (in fact, I’m 33 years old – the same age as Superman in Man of Steel! That’s just a cool coincidence. That’s all. In no way do I think of myself as Superman. That’s foolish. Well, I don’t think of myself as Superman anymore. In my younger days, sure. I thought I was invincible, handsome, and I had the power of flight. I don’t think that way anymore, though. Nope. I’m that emotionally hardened 33 year-old, after all.).
Sure I was disappointed with the last reboot, but that can’t happen again!? Can it? Well, you’ll just have to listen to Episode 55 of The Trailer Home Podcast when it is released on June 28 to find out if Man of Steel left me as happy as a wide-eyed 26 year-old dreamer not having seen Superman Returns or as numb as a dead-eyed 33 year-old drunkard having the misfortune of seeing Superman Returns!
“So, do you want to see Farewell, My Queen sometime?”
This is what my girlfriend asked me this past weekend. Immediately I had no idea what she was asking me to do. Given the structure of her question, though, I surmised she was asking me to “see” a movie. Other possibilities running through my mind, given the title Farewell, My Queen, included a play, a musical, and an organized drag queen fight. The drag queen fight was eliminated quickly because I doubted my girlfriend had the chutzpah to go and watch an organized fight between drag queens and because I didn’t think an organized drag queen fight would use language so subtle in its title; sure, the title Farewell, My Queen included the word “queen,” but the sentiment the phrase evokes seemed too subtle and dark for an organized drag queen fight. Also after a few moments of thought I didn’t think organizeddrag queen fights existed, title card or not (link has video that is NSFW).
Plays and musicals were also eliminated from contention because a) Des Moines, Iowa, where we both live, does not offer many options for plays and musicals, making it uncomplicated to stay attune to what plays and musicals are available at any given time. I therefore knew that an option called Farewell, My Queen was not viable; and b) my girlfriend and I have never attended a musical or play together, so if she were to ask me to see a musical or play she would emphasize that what she was asking me to join her in attending was a musical or play.
Her question would thus have been something more in the vein of: “So, do you want to see the Farewell, My Queen MUSICAL (or PLAY) sometime?” Or she would have casually mentioned the musical or play days or weeks prior to asking me to officially “see” Farewell, My Queen. I would therefore have been prepped and appropriately prepared to accept the invite and heroically grind my way through a musical or play when the time for seeing a musical or play was upon us.
Despite having crudely deduced that she was asking me to see a movie called Farewell, My Queen I smoothly replied to her question, “What’s that?”
I thought, “Joshua Jackson’s girlfriend! And she was in a movie as outstanding as Inglourious Basterds! What?!” Those thoughts were immediately followed by, “Joshua Jackson is still pertinent to popular culture?!” Jackson’s most recognizable role as Dawson Leery’s friend, Pacey Witter, on Dawson’s Creek, ended almost 10 years ago. I knew he is also involved with Fringe, a TV show currently airing on Fox. I have not seen one episode of Fringe, but I was aware that he starred on that show nonetheless. Jackson was also in the first two Mighty Ducks movies, but that was years before his fame explosion came via trolling the Capeside, Mass., shoreline as a teenage heartthrob pining after Dawson’s soulmate, Joey Potter, on the aforementioned Dawson’s Creek. None of these roles seemed like they would keep the waters of Joshua Jackson’s pop culture importance high enough that they could entice anyone into seeing a movie in 2012 featuring his present day girlfriend.
“You know, Pacey Witter from Dawson’s Creek?” my girlfriend continued.
“Wow. That’s really good work for ol’ Pacey!” I retorted.
I was referring to the fact that my lowly opinion of Joshua Jackson’s post-Creek career did not equate to him being in a romantic relationship with anyone who could possibly be considered important by 2012 standards. I truly was impressed that he had a relationship with a woman who not only was in Inglourious Basterds, but that he was dating a woman who could also be identified by a casual fan as being in Inglourious Basterds. It would have been one thing if E! News host Giuliana Rancic had told me that Joshua Jackson is dating a woman who was in Inglourious Basterds, but the impact of this Joshua Jackson factoid was greatly amplified because it was stated by my girlfriend who, unlike Giuliana Rancic, is not gainfully employed to sickly obsess over celebrity gossip.
Picking up on my Basterds excitement and muting my enthusiasm in one fell swoop, my girlfriend said, “She was also in those National Treasure movies.”
A ha! The pieces started to fall into place with this bit of information! It made sense that someone who was a main player in the National Treasure movies would date someone who hit his career peak 14 years ago. There is nothing wrong with the National Treasure movies, other than they are oversimplified drivel designed to help Nic Cage pay off his debts. Again it just made sense that an actress in a movie made simply for a payday would date an actor who was most widely recognized for the role he played as a teenager. There’s also nothing wrong with an actor hitting his peak as a teenager, other than the idea that every role that comes afterward will fight the shadows of those booming teenage years.
I replied, “Oh that makes more sense, then.”
Who’s the actress in question, who was in Inglourious Basterds, National Treasure, and National Treasure: Book of Secrets? It’s Diane Kruger! She’s German! And she plays Marie Antoinette in Farewell, My Queen.
Speaking of that movie, I accepted my girlfriend’s date proposal and we went to see Farewell, My Queen. It’s a French film about the first days of the French revolution focusing on Marie Antoinette and her personal servants. The movie is great and definitely worth watching, especially if you’re excited by modern European history. It’s also great if you’re very interested in cleavage, because the garment necklines in this movie are low, low, low–just like the prices at your local mattress shop’s weekend sale.
The film also features Lea Seydoux, who was also in Inglourious Basterds. That’s two Quentin Tarantino-approved actresses in one cleavage-filled foreign biopic! What a deal!
Fortunately I am into both modern European history and cleavage, so I really dug this movie. Diane Kruger is excellent as Marie Antoinette, too. She was so good, in fact, that on the drive home from the theater I mentioned to my girlfriend, “That Joshua Jackson has really done well for himself!”
“Yeah,” she replied. “That Pacey’s done a good job!”